Sometimes my reaction is the worst part

I had a realization this week when I was frustrated with my son’s grumpy mood:

Sometimes my reaction is the worst part.

I chose to react to his grumpiness by also being grumpy. And being grumpy doesn’t feel good! I realized I could just. stop. being. grumpy. I didn’t have to react to his grumpiness with frustration or lectures or more grumpiness. My own reaction is the worst part— then I’m in a bad mood, I think I have to fix everything and I’m certain the whole day is ruined. And guess what? None of that actually stops my child from being grumpy or does anything to prevent it in the future. He’s allowed to be grumpy and I can choose whether or not to react to it.

But this time I noticed it. And I stopped reacting. I stopped mid-lecture and just continued cleaning up the kitchen and eating an extra bite of apple cake.

And I noticed that it was almost like it didn’t even happen. As soon as I stopped reacting, so did he. I modeled being calm and he followed suit. We carried on like nothing had happened because really nothing had.

So my parenting tip for this week is to remember that sometimes your own reaction, your own emotions and your discomfort and that feeling where you think you need to solve every problem because you’re the parent, is the worst part. And it is completely unnecessary. Next time you find yourself reacting about something minor, try to stop in the moment and remind yourself that you don’t have to react. Calm yourself and see what happens.